I walked into that room, in excitment and hope and joy and love.
I walked in slow with a steady paste waiting to see that look on your face.

Before i walked in, i looked on the names beside only noticing your husbands but yours i could not find.

I walked in and saw him sitting there in despair yet under everything there was srength. I looked there was an open space - a space where you once belonged. A space filled with lack of grace.

Speachless, not knowing or understanding.
In wonder of where you went, the look in his eyes so troubled and scared yet so humble and faithful.

I glanced back to look at the door to see your names once again, yet yours still didn't appear. I instantly got this feeling that uncertainty that you were near.

Your bed was gone, your smile wasn't there you weren't there.
I questioned myself, saying none of this was fair.

I go to the other side, i see you sitting their. The look in your eyes of worry and fear but most of all the look was heartache.
I could tell deep down you wanted to come back - you'd do anything to be in his arms, anything to just be in his presence. You would do anything it takes.

That feeling i had as i walked into that room, the feeling of uncertainty it hurt. Now the look in your eyes it gave me hope. It touched me, you touched me. For i know you'd do anything it takes. <3

I sit in the stillness sometimes, only to ponder about the ifs, ands, buts and whys.
Even though it's been so long i still wait to hear from you.
I wait and wait and wait somemore just incase you come back.

Come back to me, come back to me is what i long to see.
Layin' there on that floor, a pain i felt like nothing before.
Laying there so helpless and hopeless, as we tried to make a way for you.
I ran as fast as i could, holding my breath barely breathing.
Trying so hard not to let go.

I ran, and i cried screaming for help trying to erase the realtiy of what was really going on.
My breathing paste got much faster, as this scene became a disaster.
Laying there is all i see, beneath of me breathless and precious.
Trying so hard to move you,
in the end it was you who moved us.

You may be gone, and missing you isn't easy but it's the knowlege of knowing you're above watching over me.
Keep a good look out for me papa pete, Everyday is a day of missing you, but gainging strength from the pain is causes and gaining strength from your knowledge. Nothing compares to you.

You were like a father figure in my life, that i never had.
You taught me endless things that will always be with me.
And most of all, you're a hero. A hero that never let himself fall.
You faught battles until they we're beaten. You never let it beat you. You we're the stronger one through it all.

I Love you, PapaPete. Forever&always<3

I don't think you'll ever truely realize how much you've touched me.
How much you've touched my life in just a matter of seconds, minutes, days, weeks and months.

It fell on me today, like a rain drop from the cloudy sky. It fell upon me today.
Leaving me in joyful tears, and suddently everything was okay. You made everything okay.

The words you spoke, filled me inside with joy and hope.
I know i say this often but it's so true, it's the smallest things that mean the most. The smalles things can make the biggest difference. No matter what the circumstances are.

I walked in your room, i stood above you looking down at a loving, hopeful, graceful, strong, independent, courageous, faithful women filled with happieness of a life that was lived with no regrets. Thanking God for each day, for to you it has been a blessing.

I made a promise, a promise that i'd visit today.
I got pulled back and had to do what everyone else had to say.
Guilty and broken is how i felt. For a promise i made was shattered.

I realized it couldn't stop me, and wouldn't.
I wouldn't let it.
As i left the room and walked into yours i saw you sitting there so gracefully, so peacefully and so perfect in my eyes.
I walk closer to you, and apologized. I apologized for not having the chance to stop by today after a promise i had made.
I apologized for not being able to even say hello until the end of the day.
I did this because i've had promises made and broken to me. I knew what it's like to get let down. To feel left alone. I've known that and i surely didn't want to do that to you.

I walked in and said "hey you, i just wanted to stop by on my way out to apologize for the time we missed out on today, how i promised i'd be here today and i couldn't be. I'm sorry i did that to you.
she sais so presciously "hey girl, it's okay you don't have to apologize for one second, you come in every day and that is a blessing to me. Just having you stop by as much as you can i am thankful for you."
I replied and said,
"yeah but i just felt really bad for not stopping by when i told you i would, so i really just wanted to atleast say a quick hello, so thankyou so much for understanding, it means alot to me because i never want to let you down"

Suddently it went quiet,
i stood their in silence. A few seconds later the first thing i saw was eyes begining to blurr, i saw redness and heard a little noise. I heard sniffles and a noise of a cry. I saw in her eye, hope and love. I saw a heart that was lifted. Lifted so high and so gracefully. She started to cry as i stood their. She began to whipe her eyes. She stumbles her words and says, "you don't know how much you mean to me, and it makes me cry when you are as sweet as you are, you don't understand how much it means to me to have you and to have you visit me everyday, you never have to apologize to me, i love you girl."

as the tears fell apon her cheek, i looked into her loving soft eyes and shed a tear, for it touched me, she touched me. I never knew how much i meant to her, and hearing those words from her voice was clairity and made me realize you never know how much you mean to someone, and how big of an inspiration you are to them. We all learn from eachother and look up to one another.

I shed a tear and gently bent down to hug her in her chair.
I wrapped my arms around her and she hugged me back, she gave me a giant kiss on the cheek and said thankyou for everything you do. It's the nice people like you, who we never forget. I love you girl.

Moments like these i'll never forget. <3

& sometimes it's the smallest things that mean the most.

You never know what someone around you could be thinking, going through, or even wishing for.
It's amazing how one question can tell alot about one person.
One question could have an answer with so much truth and honnesty in it.
It carrys you away, literally carrys you away.

It inspires you, and challenges you.
It proves something to you.

Sometimes it is really the smallest things, that can mean the most.
There is a fire inside everyones heart that's waiting to burn, but sometimes it takes a life time to learn.

I asked a question today, a deep question.
This is why you never know what someone else is going through, or feeling. You have to understand that on order to know someone, i mean really know someone you've got to care for who they are, and what they feel.
You have to take time to get to know the person.

The question i asked: "If you could do anything in the entire world right now, what would you chose to do?"
The response i got: " Danielle, to be honnest it would be not here anymore.. i wish i was dead." Tears fell upon her face, i gently touched her back and said this. .

"sometimes life throws at you alot of tough turns. Alot of challenges that will challenge your strength, but you've got through all of that. Look where you are now, you may have been challenged but you knew all along you were stronger. You proved that challenge wrong." I then said, Plus what are you thinking, if you were gone i wouldn't even know you, and i love talking to you, i love knowing you.
She simply said, thank you Danielle, I love talking to you and knowing you too. I'm lonely here without you, but knowing i get the chance to see your smile gives me hope for another day. A new day. Because you are such a beautiful person inside and out.

Sometimes it's the smallest things in life that may mean the most.
<3

I find it strange how life can move on so fast, slippin'right out of our hands.
Yet every single time we try to move on somethings pulling us back. Forcing us to stay in the past.

A stronghold against us, leaving us thinkin'were usless.
Words from the world changing our minds.
We get challenged, our strength gets challenged. It's the wisdom of knowing you are stronger that will give you unblelievable strength that can go beyond far could ever take you.

I've found that Life is like the sport of bowling. It's all in the way you let your hand go, all in the stragety. It's all in the matter of how many pins are still standing. How many fall down, and letting go of that bowling ball only to find out where it takes you next. Whether it's a strike, a spare, or leaving everything standing still. Life takes you places unexpectidly, it's all in the stragety of how you get there.

I've learned that we get so caught up in yesturday, that we forget about today. We forget that today is all were garunteed. We forget that today is a new day. A new realization, a new place in time. If were not caught up in yesturday, then we're caught up in trying to figure out tomorrow. Trying to live for tomorrow and not now. Now is all we have. We need to stop focusing on yesturday and tomorrow, for today is what's going by too fast.

We all have secrets,
we stand there in the midst of everybody else trying so hard to prevent our secrets from slipping right out of our hands and into this world.

The truth is, imperfection is beauty and all of us are imperfect.
Our flaws aren't there to hold you down, and hold you back.
There here to bare through it all with strength that you gain from your flaws. From your own struggles.

You see our struggles are our own, people may have similar struggles, but we all handle things differently. We all have a different look at them.
You never know how many people could be struggling with the exact same things you do, the exact feelings, the let downs, the fear, the hope, the dreams, the addictions, and the flaws you call your own.

People strive each day, only to keep their secrets tucked away.
What people don't realize is that each struggle we go through could help another struggle someone else is going through. Each struggle has a purpose.
Our strength may be challenged but it's knowing you are stronger that is the real strength inside.

Everyone of us have feelings, and most of the time their all the same feelings. We need to open up more, for holding back won't save you from your struggles, holding back will just keep you down. But pushing forward opening up will let you rise like an eagle.

To me a good writter is..



it's not how good you write it, it's about the heart you put into it.. it's your own words the words you say are feelings , and they mean something to you. that's what a good writter is about, not trying to meet other standards but writting from your own heart. your own words, your own desires.

We all have different passions, different talents but you've gotta believe in them on order to live them out.

My grandpa use to always say, "if your not gunna get down and dirty in the job, you mid as well quit before you start," in otherwords, without putting your whole heart into something you are working on, why bother?
You've gotta have that belief.