I sit here, in the stillness trying to find myself.
I settle down, breath in and breath out.
Striving to hold back only whats left, all of this doubt.

I sit, i think, i scramble, i move, i love, i hate, i fear, i fake, i believe, i strive, and i hope.

Pushing onward to see the difference, pushing through to feel the peace.
Guiding me my savour, my hope.

Never letting me go.
I'm a believer, of the father to the fatherless, the lover to the sinners, the strength for the weak, the fullness for the hunger, the joy for the angry, the hope for the hopeless, the love the never ends.
God, who made this world in motion, who died for us to live. To love, to believe. Not to fight, nor hate.

I love my father, for he has givin'me knew eyes, new heart and new desires.
<3

No matter what, i'll love you.
No matter who you are, i'll love you.
No matter what decisions you make, i'll love you.

No matter how long we go without words, i'll still love you.
No matter what i'll love you.
Always have and always will.

No matter what choices you make, i'll love you.
No matter who you become, i'll love you.
No matter how much it kills me inside to go day by day without you, i'll love you.

No matter how many times promises break, i'll love you.
No matter how much you lose, i'll still love you.
No matter how long this takes to fight, i'll love you.

Because i know that if i could just be in your arms one more time, go back to the days you were around, back to the days where every single morning you'd make me that toast & my fav butter on top before it was time to catch the bus,no matter how many moments i don't see you, i'll keep the memories safe. I'll always love you.
For the times i would be really sick, rushing to the hospital, youd carry me in your arms and take me out front and just sit and take in the fresh air so my breathing would get better. I'll always be daddys little girl, just like that shirt i use to wear all the time, i'm still that little girl, whos grown up and realized decisions area huge part of life, they are what makes you who you are today. We all have regrets, but you can't live on only the regrets, you have to move on from the past, and follow through with your dreams and hopes.

I try to make sense of this all in my mind, but sometimes there aren't any answers. So i keep strving for them, i keep the hope & faith that everything will be okay.

No matter what your struggles, or weaknesses are i will always love you.
I'm still that little girl of yours in heart, i've grown so much over the years and thats the hardest part.. you don't even get to see your little girl grow up, sure i see you the random times on special occasions but its not the same. It just isn't and never will be. Every morning i wake up and i know i have an amazing family moms great shes a wonderful person who cares for all of us so much, My big brother shane, oh where do i start its hard to describe him, he's the best person hes the best brother and hes the bestfriend anyone could ever ask for. Nicole, i honneslty can say without her there wouldn't be me. . I'm not lieing, i don'tknow who i'd be without her. She's my other half, my better half. Family is family, and i wouldn't change them for the world because each one of them mean the world to me. They are my world. My strength, my hope, my faith, they are everything to me. Even though i hve all of this, theres always going to be something missing, and that something is always going to be you.

I Love You,
Your little girl.

I don't want to miss you anymore..

I'm just tired of it.
The same thing over & over again.
It's all the same.



I don't want to have to miss you anymore.

Sometimes life doesn't seem too fair, infact at times it seems like it's the farthest away from fair could ever be.

Life throws unexpected things at you, at unexpected times.
Everyone tells you to be strong, just hold on.

But times where you actually sit down and begin to realize the truth sometimes that truth hurts. I know it does for me.. just being honnest here.

Not a day goes by where i don't think about you for a moment or two.. wondering where you are, what your doing or just asking myself impossible questions inwhich could never be answered. And you see thats what hurts the most.

I have not a clue why this happened to me, or anyone in the world that goes through the same thing. But it did. And i can't fight something that aint worth fighting, i can't fight reality.

I just have to be strong and hold on.
I have to believe, and have faith that you're okay.

I know you can fight this battle, you can. I believe in you everytime i look into your brown eyes i see that hope. I see that strength that has been holdin'back for awhile now, let everything go. Let it go. Fight this battle for you are strong. Pull through, hang in there believe in yourself, have hope and faith.

Stop living for the world, but live for God.
Let everything go, let yourself go to him for he will carry you through your struggles, he will forgive you and heal you.

Like i said, everytime i look into your brown eye, i see that hope. I see a strength that can and will get you through this battle you just need to start believeing it and start fighting it.

I Love You

sad part is,
I'm starting to lose that feeling of missing you.

and it scares me,
only because if that's all i have left of you i don't want to lose it.
I don't want it to fade away.

Ph.
Dh.